Brava, Kathleen. Society has been sick for some time regarding body image messaging. About two years ago, I got sick and tired of planning the next dietary regime. Today I embrace intuitive eating. I eat when I am hungry and honor my bodies cues. I commit to daily exercise because as you get older, if you ‘don’t move it, you lose it.’ Society is screwed up but we do not have to be.
I feel a strong kinship with what you describe here, and I applaud your strength in writing it all down and sharing it. Thank you, Kathleen. Your experiences are relatable and your candor is much appreciated.
Thank you again for treading into that vulnerable space to pull out a frank and beautifully written gem! And the supermodel 80s and 90s sucked! Even those people today struggled horribly to be as thin as they were and set the rest of us up for frustration, shame and low self esteem. I guess in the long run it pushed us to get over it and learn to love ourselves unconditionally.
Thank you for talking about this. So many people don't. I put on something like 50 pounds after I had my son 2 years ago and felt like an abject failure that my pregnancy belly didn't just magically float away. Instead, I ended up bigger and heavier than I was when I was actually pregnant. Of course, I was struggling through PTSD and postpartum depression, but my brain doesn't register that part - only that I had "no excuse" for getting so "fat". The thing about it all is I can now look back on my pre-pregnancy body and realise how gorgeous I was, when I spent all of my teens and twenties thinking I was fat and ugly. I wasn't even close! And my brain knows logically this may mean that right now *the same lie is happening in my head* but I still struggle to break through it.
I am SO with you. Similar stories, similar pain. Good. For. You. Keep telling the story because there are many of us who need to keep hearing it and we don't, won't, or can't tell it to ourselves.
You are smart and brave and a damn good mom. That could be enough but you are also a good writer and a nice peteon. Weight is an unfair burden you carry but you are so much more. Hugs
Fabulous piece. Such an important subject. My Mom was fabulous on this subject…furious if anyone ever suggested that I should lose weight as a kid - she was my hero and my protector. I love that you shared the truth that ‘Healthy’ is not a specific body type. I had blood pressure issues in my early 50’s. It always cracked me up that my doctors would comment on my blood pressure and suggest that I lose more weight to combat it. When I was 10 pounds heavier, my blood pressure was LOWER. So there. I wish the medical community would knock it off. I always stressed my kids that they should celebrate a strong, healthy body…not the number on the scale. Enough.
Amen, Sistah! I have a doctor like yours—when I went to her last summer to ask if I should go on a weight-loss drug she said, "You don't need to lose weight. Your blood sugar is good, your cholesterol is good, your blood pressure is good, and your heart is good." Meanwhile, one of my dear friends, who hauled herself back to Weight Watchers every time she got five pounds over her goal weight, died of ovarian cancer when she was in her early 60s. It's not about how much you weigh, as you point out, it's about how healthy you are, and a lot of that has to do with genetics. I wish more people understood that. Or were blind and would judge people on how they act, not how they look.
I’ve been thinking about the myth of Procrustes and how we try to make ourselves fit into society’s box. So glad you found an enlightened doctor. Two people you might want to follow are Debra Benfield (Her website headline is: “Your Body is Your Life Partner, Not Your Life’s Project”) and Alexis Conason, author of “The No-Diet Revolution.” Best of luck to you and to all of us on our journey of self-acceptance.
I'm so glad you wrote about this story. It's a very difficult subject to talk about, but I hope we see more body positivity in the near future. The media normalizes "body trends" and it's incredibly damaging. You are an intelligent, beautiful human being.
PREACH!!!!! I lived a parallel life. Thank you for writing this, for championing those of us who are constantly checking out our own hips and thighs or any other body part that is troubling. Also, God bless the men who love us the way we are. They don't get enough credit. Thanks for an excellent post!!
"Also, God bless the men who love us the way we are. They don't get enough credit." Well said! I've often thought of the issue this way: two packages under the Christmas tree - one magnificently wrapped with a gorgeous red and green plaid bow on top, the other wrapped in newspaper. Imagine the surprise of the guy who opens the magnificently wrapped package only to find dog food, while the other guy opens the newspaper wrapped present to find a cushion cut emerald the size of his thumbnail inside. Forget the wrapping - it's what's inside that counts!
Thank you for supporting women and recognizing that size is not the only important factor. It's what's inside that truly matters, and we are just as valuable as a precious emerald.
Brava, Kathleen. Society has been sick for some time regarding body image messaging. About two years ago, I got sick and tired of planning the next dietary regime. Today I embrace intuitive eating. I eat when I am hungry and honor my bodies cues. I commit to daily exercise because as you get older, if you ‘don’t move it, you lose it.’ Society is screwed up but we do not have to be.
Kathleen, thank you so much for your honest, thoughtful words. You just made my day. 👍💪
really love this….thank you
I feel a strong kinship with what you describe here, and I applaud your strength in writing it all down and sharing it. Thank you, Kathleen. Your experiences are relatable and your candor is much appreciated.
Hi Megan. Thank you for reading it!
Thank you again for treading into that vulnerable space to pull out a frank and beautifully written gem! And the supermodel 80s and 90s sucked! Even those people today struggled horribly to be as thin as they were and set the rest of us up for frustration, shame and low self esteem. I guess in the long run it pushed us to get over it and learn to love ourselves unconditionally.
Thank you for talking about this. So many people don't. I put on something like 50 pounds after I had my son 2 years ago and felt like an abject failure that my pregnancy belly didn't just magically float away. Instead, I ended up bigger and heavier than I was when I was actually pregnant. Of course, I was struggling through PTSD and postpartum depression, but my brain doesn't register that part - only that I had "no excuse" for getting so "fat". The thing about it all is I can now look back on my pre-pregnancy body and realise how gorgeous I was, when I spent all of my teens and twenties thinking I was fat and ugly. I wasn't even close! And my brain knows logically this may mean that right now *the same lie is happening in my head* but I still struggle to break through it.
I am SO with you. Similar stories, similar pain. Good. For. You. Keep telling the story because there are many of us who need to keep hearing it and we don't, won't, or can't tell it to ourselves.
Thank you.
You are smart and brave and a damn good mom. That could be enough but you are also a good writer and a nice peteon. Weight is an unfair burden you carry but you are so much more. Hugs
A brilliant splendid essay. Thank you.
Fabulous piece. Such an important subject. My Mom was fabulous on this subject…furious if anyone ever suggested that I should lose weight as a kid - she was my hero and my protector. I love that you shared the truth that ‘Healthy’ is not a specific body type. I had blood pressure issues in my early 50’s. It always cracked me up that my doctors would comment on my blood pressure and suggest that I lose more weight to combat it. When I was 10 pounds heavier, my blood pressure was LOWER. So there. I wish the medical community would knock it off. I always stressed my kids that they should celebrate a strong, healthy body…not the number on the scale. Enough.
This was beautiful, Kathleen. Thanks for sharing.
Amen, Sistah! I have a doctor like yours—when I went to her last summer to ask if I should go on a weight-loss drug she said, "You don't need to lose weight. Your blood sugar is good, your cholesterol is good, your blood pressure is good, and your heart is good." Meanwhile, one of my dear friends, who hauled herself back to Weight Watchers every time she got five pounds over her goal weight, died of ovarian cancer when she was in her early 60s. It's not about how much you weigh, as you point out, it's about how healthy you are, and a lot of that has to do with genetics. I wish more people understood that. Or were blind and would judge people on how they act, not how they look.
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability with us, and props to that compassionate doctor!!
Truly the best doctor I’ve ever seen.
I’ve been thinking about the myth of Procrustes and how we try to make ourselves fit into society’s box. So glad you found an enlightened doctor. Two people you might want to follow are Debra Benfield (Her website headline is: “Your Body is Your Life Partner, Not Your Life’s Project”) and Alexis Conason, author of “The No-Diet Revolution.” Best of luck to you and to all of us on our journey of self-acceptance.
Thank you for this!
I'm so glad you wrote about this story. It's a very difficult subject to talk about, but I hope we see more body positivity in the near future. The media normalizes "body trends" and it's incredibly damaging. You are an intelligent, beautiful human being.
Thank you so much.
PREACH!!!!! I lived a parallel life. Thank you for writing this, for championing those of us who are constantly checking out our own hips and thighs or any other body part that is troubling. Also, God bless the men who love us the way we are. They don't get enough credit. Thanks for an excellent post!!
"Also, God bless the men who love us the way we are. They don't get enough credit." Well said! I've often thought of the issue this way: two packages under the Christmas tree - one magnificently wrapped with a gorgeous red and green plaid bow on top, the other wrapped in newspaper. Imagine the surprise of the guy who opens the magnificently wrapped package only to find dog food, while the other guy opens the newspaper wrapped present to find a cushion cut emerald the size of his thumbnail inside. Forget the wrapping - it's what's inside that counts!
Thank you for supporting women and recognizing that size is not the only important factor. It's what's inside that truly matters, and we are just as valuable as a precious emerald.
MORE valuable than a precious emerald!
Yes!! Absolutely and thank you for reminding all of us, of our self-worth. 💕
I agree with you, Sue. The men who love us the way we are and love, let’s face it, WHO we are do not get enough credit. God bless them.