PREACH!!!!! I lived a parallel life. Thank you for writing this, for championing those of us who are constantly checking out our own hips and thighs or any other body part that is troubling. Also, God bless the men who love us the way we are. They don't get enough credit. Thanks for an excellent post!!
It shouldn't take bravery to talk about these issues, but I know it does. Good for you for being honest and open. Our culture's ongoing obsession with what bodies "should" look like is so harmful. I'm happy for you that you've found a doctor who seems like a good fit ❤️
Damn, we are always so hard on ourselves. You are beautiful exactly as you are. This is how I feel about all my friends and all my family, no matter how they look. Because it's true.
Thank you for sharing your story so beautifully and vulnerably.
I'm currently at war with my big body.
I have been overweight my entire life. I lost 150lbs on my own in my forties, going from 300 to 150. I kept it off for 10 years. I got a lot of praise and props for that. I thought I had cracked the code. Beat the odds. Ha! Such hubris.
Due to a lot of things - mostly eating too much and making poor choices - I've gained back 50 of those pounds in the last 2 years. Getting dressed and shopping used to be a pleasure. A triumph! Now, none of my clothes fit and I can't afford a whole new wardrobe. I feel like an outsider looking in on the rest of the world. Unwelcome. I'm wearing my trauma on my body for all to see and it's not a good look.
It's exhausting and demoralizing and inescapable.
I am very lucky to have a lot of love and friendship in my life. I have people who like and love me and a very full life, and yet, none of that seems to matter. I *know* the first thing people see is my big body.
I’ve been thinking about the myth of Procrustes and how we try to make ourselves fit into society’s box. So glad you found an enlightened doctor. Two people you might want to follow are Debra Benfield (Her website headline is: “Your Body is Your Life Partner, Not Your Life’s Project”) and Alexis Conason, author of “The No-Diet Revolution.” Best of luck to you and to all of us on our journey of self-acceptance.
We all have our genetic wishlist, don't we? But yeah, out of our hands, like a lot of things. Like most things!
Speaking of people who look like they wouldn't be athletic but are indeed athletes, one of my favorite tennis players is Taylor Townsend (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taylor_Townsend). No, she doesn't have the expected tennis body, but at net, she's got the hands of an artist, and obviously she's got the cardio goods, too, because she's a top 100 player who's done incredibly well for herself. You don't win 4 million dollars in prize money by not being fit.
Please keep writing, and keep sharing, Kathleen. ❤️
Thank you again for treading into that vulnerable space to pull out a frank and beautifully written gem! And the supermodel 80s and 90s sucked! Even those people today struggled horribly to be as thin as they were and set the rest of us up for frustration, shame and low self esteem. I guess in the long run it pushed us to get over it and learn to love ourselves unconditionally.
I am SO with you. Similar stories, similar pain. Good. For. You. Keep telling the story because there are many of us who need to keep hearing it and we don't, won't, or can't tell it to ourselves.
You are smart and brave and a damn good mom. That could be enough but you are also a good writer and a nice peteon. Weight is an unfair burden you carry but you are so much more. Hugs
Thank you for sharing this. As someone still struggling with a newly-bigger body (but healthier because I'm no longer starving myself or overexercising), this helps. It's incredible how much words help or hurt. We never know who will read them once we put them out online. Yours helped me today, and I'm grateful.
I'm so glad you wrote about this story. It's a very difficult subject to talk about, but I hope we see more body positivity in the near future. The media normalizes "body trends" and it's incredibly damaging. You are an intelligent, beautiful human being.
I am exhausted from a lifetime of worrying about my weight. As I age, it is not my peers who are the problem, it's the doctors. Every disease, every symptom is about weight. Even when the weight may be the symptom of the disease, not the cause. It is, somehow, my fault. And now, the discussion seems to be ramping up with the new weight loss drugs. Just take a pill and it will go away. And yet, I can't help but worry what those pills do to some- sometimes shutting down our digestive systems. If that was the cure for any other disease, society would be outraged. I am not against anyone trying it. I understand and honor everyone's choice. It just seems it is always a loaded issue, either way.
This was a beautiful read. And same! I stopped weighing myself 3 years ago and it’s been enlightening. I still measure myself and maintain my size 14/16 (upper end of straight size) body but I’ve given up the dream of ever being any smaller. It’s just not the way I’m built. I’m fit and healthy. That’s all I need.
Kathleen, you are in no danger of your writing chops losing their luster, but if you worry about that and the result is writing such honest and smoothly flowing essays like this one, i'm not going to press this issue with you.
You make an excellent point that body shape and health are two very different things. There is no question in my mind that our diet culture is a great drain on our collective health.
PREACH!!!!! I lived a parallel life. Thank you for writing this, for championing those of us who are constantly checking out our own hips and thighs or any other body part that is troubling. Also, God bless the men who love us the way we are. They don't get enough credit. Thanks for an excellent post!!
It shouldn't take bravery to talk about these issues, but I know it does. Good for you for being honest and open. Our culture's ongoing obsession with what bodies "should" look like is so harmful. I'm happy for you that you've found a doctor who seems like a good fit ❤️
Damn, we are always so hard on ourselves. You are beautiful exactly as you are. This is how I feel about all my friends and all my family, no matter how they look. Because it's true.
Thank you for sharing your story so beautifully and vulnerably.
I'm currently at war with my big body.
I have been overweight my entire life. I lost 150lbs on my own in my forties, going from 300 to 150. I kept it off for 10 years. I got a lot of praise and props for that. I thought I had cracked the code. Beat the odds. Ha! Such hubris.
Due to a lot of things - mostly eating too much and making poor choices - I've gained back 50 of those pounds in the last 2 years. Getting dressed and shopping used to be a pleasure. A triumph! Now, none of my clothes fit and I can't afford a whole new wardrobe. I feel like an outsider looking in on the rest of the world. Unwelcome. I'm wearing my trauma on my body for all to see and it's not a good look.
It's exhausting and demoralizing and inescapable.
I am very lucky to have a lot of love and friendship in my life. I have people who like and love me and a very full life, and yet, none of that seems to matter. I *know* the first thing people see is my big body.
Working toward acceptance is very hard work.
I’ve been thinking about the myth of Procrustes and how we try to make ourselves fit into society’s box. So glad you found an enlightened doctor. Two people you might want to follow are Debra Benfield (Her website headline is: “Your Body is Your Life Partner, Not Your Life’s Project”) and Alexis Conason, author of “The No-Diet Revolution.” Best of luck to you and to all of us on our journey of self-acceptance.
We all have our genetic wishlist, don't we? But yeah, out of our hands, like a lot of things. Like most things!
Speaking of people who look like they wouldn't be athletic but are indeed athletes, one of my favorite tennis players is Taylor Townsend (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taylor_Townsend). No, she doesn't have the expected tennis body, but at net, she's got the hands of an artist, and obviously she's got the cardio goods, too, because she's a top 100 player who's done incredibly well for herself. You don't win 4 million dollars in prize money by not being fit.
Please keep writing, and keep sharing, Kathleen. ❤️
Amen, amen, amen.
Thank you again for treading into that vulnerable space to pull out a frank and beautifully written gem! And the supermodel 80s and 90s sucked! Even those people today struggled horribly to be as thin as they were and set the rest of us up for frustration, shame and low self esteem. I guess in the long run it pushed us to get over it and learn to love ourselves unconditionally.
I am SO with you. Similar stories, similar pain. Good. For. You. Keep telling the story because there are many of us who need to keep hearing it and we don't, won't, or can't tell it to ourselves.
You are smart and brave and a damn good mom. That could be enough but you are also a good writer and a nice peteon. Weight is an unfair burden you carry but you are so much more. Hugs
A brilliant splendid essay. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing this. As someone still struggling with a newly-bigger body (but healthier because I'm no longer starving myself or overexercising), this helps. It's incredible how much words help or hurt. We never know who will read them once we put them out online. Yours helped me today, and I'm grateful.
I'm so glad you wrote about this story. It's a very difficult subject to talk about, but I hope we see more body positivity in the near future. The media normalizes "body trends" and it's incredibly damaging. You are an intelligent, beautiful human being.
I am exhausted from a lifetime of worrying about my weight. As I age, it is not my peers who are the problem, it's the doctors. Every disease, every symptom is about weight. Even when the weight may be the symptom of the disease, not the cause. It is, somehow, my fault. And now, the discussion seems to be ramping up with the new weight loss drugs. Just take a pill and it will go away. And yet, I can't help but worry what those pills do to some- sometimes shutting down our digestive systems. If that was the cure for any other disease, society would be outraged. I am not against anyone trying it. I understand and honor everyone's choice. It just seems it is always a loaded issue, either way.
This was a beautiful read. And same! I stopped weighing myself 3 years ago and it’s been enlightening. I still measure myself and maintain my size 14/16 (upper end of straight size) body but I’ve given up the dream of ever being any smaller. It’s just not the way I’m built. I’m fit and healthy. That’s all I need.
Kathleen, you are in no danger of your writing chops losing their luster, but if you worry about that and the result is writing such honest and smoothly flowing essays like this one, i'm not going to press this issue with you.
You make an excellent point that body shape and health are two very different things. There is no question in my mind that our diet culture is a great drain on our collective health.
Thanks for this essay.