37 Comments

Thanks for your honesty. You’re so right about the strange loneliness you can feel even when surrounded by people who love you the most.

Expand full comment

💗

Expand full comment

Kathleen, I am so sorry for the loss 💛💛💛 The love between you and your whole family is forever. It is beautifully described, and powerfully felt. I am truly, truly sorry—sending you big hugs. Thank you for sharing your experience and the beautifully written thoughts to help others. Wishing you well.

Expand full comment

Thank you so much.

Expand full comment

Thanks for sharing this beautiful essay. All three died too young, especially your brother. ♥️ It's tough to experience the dwindling of your original nuclear family. I can relate. Here's to "contentment."

Expand full comment

XOXO

Expand full comment

To contentment. I understand.

Expand full comment

This is a beautiful essay. My circumstances are different, but the complicated feelings around family and needing boundaries and showing up for Christmas in a big way for your kids - I totally get that. Sending you all the good thoughts during this season!

Expand full comment

Thank you and same to you. 💗

Expand full comment

You are not alone - thanks for writing this

Expand full comment

This was beautiful and moving. Lost my folks similarly and still s-t-r-u-g-g-l-e with it regularly, especially during the holidays. Thank you for sharing--it does lighten the journey knowing others are on an almost identical path.

Expand full comment

Thanks so much. 💗

Expand full comment

Grace and peace to you, Kathleen.

Expand full comment

Thank you 💗

Expand full comment

I'm so sorry for your losses. My Dad passed away on December 23, 2020 from an unexpected heart attack. We spent almost two weeks before that visiting him in the hospital while they tried every life-saving measure possible. I became unexpectedly pregnant with my first baby less than a year later...a very joyful and also sad time because more than anything, I wanted my son to meet my Dad.

This time of year is tough and there's no way to bypass the ache. I am still navigating my way through this season and the loss it represents as a new mom- trying to allow moments to grieve and also create new memories with my son. It's tenuous, at best.

Thank you for sharing. ✨

Expand full comment

Thank you for reading the piece. I know how you feel. Neither of my kids met my dad, and they don't remember my mom or brother. My dad would've adored them. xo

Expand full comment

I was extremely close with my mother who died three and a half years ago at age 81. For the last fifteen years of her life she blossomed in so many ways. During that decade and a half we spoke and emailed pretty much every day. Just this evening my daughter (35) told me about something she did, to help a friend and said "And Grandma Jill would have said give more!"

There is a connection between feeling both my mothers presence and her absence.

Thanks Kathleen for your thoughts and connecting this community.

Expand full comment

I'm so sorry for your losses, Kathleen. I hope happy memories bring you comfort. Thank you for all you do for authors. I'm grateful for the insights you share.

Expand full comment

Thank you so much. xo

Expand full comment

A lovely post. I have also lost both my parents, and at the holidays I feel it Keely though many years have passed. I often tell friends the same thing - the grief never goes away, but it does soften and change shape over time. I am sorry for your losses. I hope you and your family enjoy your very extra holidays!

Expand full comment

Thank you. xo

Expand full comment

This really got me choking! I relate deeply. Thank you for sharing your story.

Expand full comment

Thank you for reading 💗

Expand full comment

Beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I had some very similar reflecting yesterday myself. Sending much love ❤️

https://open.substack.com/pub/emmasimpsonauthor/p/robins-and-reflections?r=1emn6i&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

Expand full comment

Achingly beautiful Kathleen. I can relate in many ways. Christmas changes as we lose family members.

Wishing you peace and comfort through the holidays and beyond.

Expand full comment

Thank you so much. I wish you the same.

Expand full comment

my brother passed away right before the holidays last year and it's unspeakably hard. christmas was our favorite holiday! last year was a wash for obvious reasons but this year i'm determined to keep him close via the traditions. it can be a comfort as well as a painful reminder, sometimes.

my thoughts are with you and your family, i hope your holiday is restful and comforting x

Expand full comment

I'm so sorry. There is something about losing a sibling that's more profound than losing a parent. I hope your holiday is restful and comforting too.

Expand full comment