I felt for a long time that I "needed" to be in New York City, that it was part of my identity, and that it made me special. I realized -- like you did -- that it's a delusion, a story I was making up about myself. The life I have is my real life and I appreciate it more and more. Many blessings for your new home.
I really felt this piece Kathleen. I am on the having-moved-a-lot side of the spectrum (23 atm) and may be moving interstate again within a matter of months. I also feel like moving to a new place, even if only across the road, is an adventure. And I love adventure, so I'm all for the way something new feels when you find all the little quirks of a new place, discover what is in the garden season by season and find out how each family member responds to the new-news.
Thanks Kathleen, I needed this. I recently moved to Chicago from Minneapolis, a city I loved with my whole heart, and have been feeling lost and sour about Chicago. Your piece is a comfort that great things can happen where we once refused to accept ♥️
Kathleen, what a beautiful, heartfelt and moving piece. I live in NYC but the Jersey Shore has always been a happy place to retreat to - love it most off-season when the summer crowds are gone.
Loved this! I've moved a great deal throughout my life...from Greece to Virginia to Turkey to California to Iraq to Maryland...all by age 10. Then Lebanon to Utah to Italy to Washington, D.C. to California to Washington State and finally ending up in Utah again. The homes were all different, but all welcoming because of the loved ones who shared the spaces with me. I think I'm finally settled, but you never know, do you?
So, are you back on the Jersey shore? This brought back so many memories, but I like many of your readers have moved a lot, and I feel the urge to go again. I haven't even decided where, but thinking the house will go up for sale about mid-September and I'm excited! We change and we grow. We are not who we were. It is time. I do hope you enjoy your new home.
I, too, moved to a house in Washington DC in 1984 from a lovely apartment in New York City where I was born and raised. I resisted the move and even though we moved to a beautiful house in DC, I was not happy here for a long while. Three months ago, I moved to an apartment and, again, was skeptical that I could be happy here by myself. I wanted to return to Manhattan but, honestly, I like visiting but now can't imagine living there again. You are correct in saying that home is NOT a place. Family, love, friendships, memories, and adventures along the way are the furniture that can be moved from place to place and before long, it's home.
Kathleen, I am so grateful you shared this deeply personal story. I've been treated for depression and anxiety for many years, and did both inpatient and outpatient programs.
I was living in a two bedroom apartment in NYC with my husband and 8 yr old son when the pandemic shut everything down. My husband had been diagnosed with incurable cancer in 2018, and I was scared because he was very immunocompromised. We rented Airbnbs (houses) in Westchester County, NY and CT through September 2020, so we had more room to spread out and came in contact with fewer people. My husband was able to drive in a couple of days per month for his treatment.
I know what you mean about the pandemic being a "good" experience because we got to spend a lot of time together as a family while I worked remotely (my husband was on ss disability). Moving around during those months wasn't easy, but we always said that home was wherever we were together. He died almost 3 years ago on 8/25/2021 and I've moved twice with my son (within Manhattan). I don't know if I will ever feel truly "home" again without him.
I am sending you so much love. You will carry him with you wherever you go, but I understand what you mean. When I lost my parents, and the places where I lived with them, I felt unmoored. I think you will know when you feel "at home" again. xo
Beautiful piece! As someone who has moved many times throughout my life, close to 30 times, I bought my first house in 2018. It made me happy. Really happy to finally have a home office after 12 years being on the road and in other peoples spaces. So much has happened since then and I fear another move is on the horizon. But life is an adventure so I’m leaning in the best I can to enjoy the ride.
I felt for a long time that I "needed" to be in New York City, that it was part of my identity, and that it made me special. I realized -- like you did -- that it's a delusion, a story I was making up about myself. The life I have is my real life and I appreciate it more and more. Many blessings for your new home.
I really felt this piece Kathleen. I am on the having-moved-a-lot side of the spectrum (23 atm) and may be moving interstate again within a matter of months. I also feel like moving to a new place, even if only across the road, is an adventure. And I love adventure, so I'm all for the way something new feels when you find all the little quirks of a new place, discover what is in the garden season by season and find out how each family member responds to the new-news.
Thanks Kathleen, I needed this. I recently moved to Chicago from Minneapolis, a city I loved with my whole heart, and have been feeling lost and sour about Chicago. Your piece is a comfort that great things can happen where we once refused to accept ♥️
Sending you love.
Sending love and light for all the new adventures in the new house 🏠 ✨️
Kathleen, what a beautiful, heartfelt and moving piece. I live in NYC but the Jersey Shore has always been a happy place to retreat to - love it most off-season when the summer crowds are gone.
Such a beautiful piece. You ARE a writer!
It is so hard for me to accept that I am!
Loved this! I've moved a great deal throughout my life...from Greece to Virginia to Turkey to California to Iraq to Maryland...all by age 10. Then Lebanon to Utah to Italy to Washington, D.C. to California to Washington State and finally ending up in Utah again. The homes were all different, but all welcoming because of the loved ones who shared the spaces with me. I think I'm finally settled, but you never know, do you?
I love the idea of the house holding you. After all, where you reside definitely holds a lot; memories, laughter, sadness, secrets, all of the things.
A stunningly brave piece. Great writing requires components of gut wrenching real emotion. You have that check marked here.
Thank you for your bravery in exposing your lowest times with us. I stand in awe.
Hugs hugs hugs and all the best in turning the page for your family’s new adventures.
Thank you so much.
I am so thrilled for you that you found a house that feels like home. May you and your family enjoy many happy, healthy years there.
I have SO MUCH to say about houses and homes, but I'll keep it brief here ;)
In June 2021 a giant oak tree fell on the house I'd been renting for 15 years. On the house, through the roof.
It wasn't my house, but it was my home.
That set off a 2-year journey in which I moved 13 times while the repairs were made, including a stretch where I moved 5 times in four weeks.
I went from a big house full of stuff I loved, down to 2 suitcases, 2 boxes and a bag of shoes.
I learned I *can* live with less.
And, that I don't want to if I don't have to.
I learned other places *can* feel like home-ish as long as I have proximity to my community.
And, there's no place like home.
More here if you're curious:
https://larastarr.substack.com/p/its-kind-of-a-long-story-about-why
So, are you back on the Jersey shore? This brought back so many memories, but I like many of your readers have moved a lot, and I feel the urge to go again. I haven't even decided where, but thinking the house will go up for sale about mid-September and I'm excited! We change and we grow. We are not who we were. It is time. I do hope you enjoy your new home.
Lovely essay. It sounds like this will be a good and happy move for you!
Beautiful. Congratulations on the new space.
I, too, moved to a house in Washington DC in 1984 from a lovely apartment in New York City where I was born and raised. I resisted the move and even though we moved to a beautiful house in DC, I was not happy here for a long while. Three months ago, I moved to an apartment and, again, was skeptical that I could be happy here by myself. I wanted to return to Manhattan but, honestly, I like visiting but now can't imagine living there again. You are correct in saying that home is NOT a place. Family, love, friendships, memories, and adventures along the way are the furniture that can be moved from place to place and before long, it's home.
Kathleen, I am so grateful you shared this deeply personal story. I've been treated for depression and anxiety for many years, and did both inpatient and outpatient programs.
I was living in a two bedroom apartment in NYC with my husband and 8 yr old son when the pandemic shut everything down. My husband had been diagnosed with incurable cancer in 2018, and I was scared because he was very immunocompromised. We rented Airbnbs (houses) in Westchester County, NY and CT through September 2020, so we had more room to spread out and came in contact with fewer people. My husband was able to drive in a couple of days per month for his treatment.
I know what you mean about the pandemic being a "good" experience because we got to spend a lot of time together as a family while I worked remotely (my husband was on ss disability). Moving around during those months wasn't easy, but we always said that home was wherever we were together. He died almost 3 years ago on 8/25/2021 and I've moved twice with my son (within Manhattan). I don't know if I will ever feel truly "home" again without him.
I am sending you huge hugs, Amy.
I am sending you so much love. You will carry him with you wherever you go, but I understand what you mean. When I lost my parents, and the places where I lived with them, I felt unmoored. I think you will know when you feel "at home" again. xo
Beautiful piece! As someone who has moved many times throughout my life, close to 30 times, I bought my first house in 2018. It made me happy. Really happy to finally have a home office after 12 years being on the road and in other peoples spaces. So much has happened since then and I fear another move is on the horizon. But life is an adventure so I’m leaning in the best I can to enjoy the ride.