81 Comments

We moved to Davis, CA, to retire - after I had lived in NJ for 37 years, and my husband 57. I was okay until you mentioned going to the shore to listen to the waves, and remembered the times we and the kids spent at Island Beach State Park just doing the beach thing. Enjoy it for me.

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Oh my goodness. I never take it for granted. It’s a special place. 💗

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I just wanted to come on and comment about a part of this post someone took issue with. I was by no means trivializing how the authors in the Lithub piece felt regarding post-publication and postpartum depression. I went through hell and back during my own postpartum depression experiences, which I have chosen not to write about because it involves my children, and they should hear it from me, not from something I write. I was also not suggesting, by any means, that setting a timer for 15-30 mins a day to be sad is some kind of cure for depression. If you have read my work here, you know I take depression seriously. The reason I suggested it was because it is a coping mechanism I learned while grieving the loss of my parents and brother. I'm assuming most people read the piece in the way it was intended: helpful suggestions to get through your book's publication.

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"If family members assume you are rolling in money, laugh, and it will confuse them. If they ask about your book sales, keep telling them it’s too early to know or that your publisher provides monthly reports, and you haven’t received yours yet."

This is extremely pertinent and useful advice, thank you.

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Thanks for the tip about “It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People.” I just ordered it on Kindle.

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You’re welcome. I’m finding it very helpful. 💗

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This is great advice: "Find your puddle, writers." Thank you. Your newsletter tone, perspective and advice is a solid A+. Thank you.

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Thank you for another great newsletter. The timing was perfect, I recently had a conversation about an author who compared finishing a project to postpartum depression. While I've never had children, I have friends who have suffered from this, and I'm always slightly horrified by the comparison. It feels trite. I'm a published author, so I understand the ups and downs, but for me it minimizes what some women experience. Your comparing it to the let down after a party or holiday is perfect. I'm going to use that when I hear the comparison again. Keep the newsletters coming! I love them.

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Thank you so much.

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When I was an editor, I once had an author who basically ran around to every bookstore in NYC looking for her book *on pub day* and when she didn’t find it, emailed and called me in an absolute furious panic, sicc’ed her agent on me, etc. I had a lot of sympathy for her—publishing a book is such a vulnerable and emotional experience—but she just would not listen or believe me that a lot of stores fail to get books on shelves by pub day (and hers was not a big first printing…) and to please just give it a little time. She had a few events in NYC that week and I knew many other stores had taken like 2-5 copies, but even that information incensed her—she was expecting stacks and stacks. And the thing is, I definitely thought her book had legs, but it was always destined to be a slow burn driven by publicity. And none of that had landed by pub day, so it was a waiting game, and she was losing her mind. Every time I go into a store and don’t see my books, I think about her, take a deep breath, and go on with my life. (PS: her book did indeed go on to hit the NYT list!!!)

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"ran around to every bookstore in NYC looking for her book" Sounds like author fever, an actual condition. I knew someone who stood by the library shelf where her book sat, ambushing patrons with, "Looking for a good book?"

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I have experienced that with some authors in NYC. The worst calls to get.

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"Do I feel vulnerable after I send this newsletter? You better believe it. It often feels like I just ripped off a band-aid. I await likes and comments and hope my writing didn’t fall flat."

This is why authors are often halfway to insane, because we spend years on a book and then do exactly this!

I often liken writing and publishing to emotional bootcamp - it's the process that is the point, not the end result. The trying and all the stuff it brings up will get you psychologically fit - If it doesn't kill you!

Great and helpful post, thanks x

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"This is why authors are often halfway to insane" Yer being kind. Now if they could only channel it into their writing, you'd have something.

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What does M.F.A. stand for?

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Masters in Fine Arts

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Thanks. I hate unexplained TLAs.

(Three Letter Acronyms).

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This was so encouraging to read- especially as I submit my MFA applications. I may be seeking *achievement* status, and not doing it for ~me~. Appreciate you Kathleen. <3

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So, I just found you via Threads and I’m hooked. Thank you for your vulnerability. It’s wildly needed. 😉

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Thanks so much, Ty.

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No, your writing didn’t fall flat. I subscribe to a bunch of people on Substack and elsewhere and you’re one of the few whose posts I read from top to bottom. Not that you need my validation, but there you go. Thanks for being so interesting.

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Thank you. I am my worst critic.

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What a great post! Very informative, measured, and, ultimately encouraging. Thank you.

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Thank you!

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Kathleen, just wanted to tell you that was a great post and very insightful. It was also honest and realistic, two things that folks don't always want to hear. Thanks again for sharing.

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Thank you!

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Thank you so much for this it’s very insightful and helpful, as always. Dr. Ramani is great so glad you found her, she has lots of videos on her YouTube channel as well 😊

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Re: Advances. I recently learned about Author Equity and wondered what your thoughts were about their model?

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I am going to write about that, but I need to fully form my thoughts.

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Awesome. I look forward to your take on it.

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